


Close your eyes.

by MsAstronaut



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: Feelings, Gen, Missing Scene, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28340664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsAstronaut/pseuds/MsAstronaut
Summary: Missing scene in 1x07 between Jolene and Beth.
Relationships: Beth Harmon & Jolene
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	Close your eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I loved the show.  
> Set in 1x07.

Beth could see the outline of the book on the nightstand besides her. She couldn't bring herself to be mad at Jolene for hiding it when they were kids. Especially not now.

Silence hung in-between them. Unasked and unanswered questions, unsaid apologies and the unquestioned feeling of comfort all tugged at Beth's heart, urging her throat to acknowledge them. But feeling the weight on the mattress besides her, the warmth of a body so familiar and yet so unknown, she decided that maybe she didn't have to.

And yet, words tugged at her tongue. The chokehold of fear battled by the need of comfort, by the promise of safety and love that always filled her heart when the other woman was near. The longer she resisted, the more she felt as if the secret would suffocate her, or the darkness of the night capture her. 

"She told me to close my eyes" Beth finally said. Her voice was small, weak, very much unlike the yell she greeted Jolene at her doorstep.

She felt the bed shift underneath her as the other woman turned to face her. Out of the corner of her eye, Beth could see a raised eyebrow. "What?"

The silence as Jolene waited for an answer was deafening. As if desperate to break it, Beth breathed "When we first met, you asked me what was the last thing my mother said to me. She told me to close my eyes."

Beth knew that there was no way out now. She couldn't take back her words, pretend the confession never escaped her mouth in the first place, no matter how much she wanted to. Her voice broke, and Beth hoped that with all of the lights turned off, Jolene wouldn't be able to see that her face suffered a similar fate, "She said she found out how to solve the problem. Me." She took a deep breath, and wiped off a traitorous tear, "She told me to close my eyes and then she changed the lane, driving straight into the oncoming car."

A beat passed and then Beth was scooped up into a hug. It was awkward, with a pillow somehow finding it's way in between them, but it was perfect. All Jolene's hugs were. She felt the older woman rest her chin on the top of her head and mutter "oh, honey"

Tears fell onto Jolene's shirt, but she didn't seem to notice, instead choosing to ran a hand up and down her back. This time, the silence between them was comforting, like a blanket of safety underneath which they could hide from the world. But Beth tried to hide, once, and it didn't work out.

"Alma," Beth began, but instantly felt a pang of guilt when she realized that Jolene didn't know who that was- "my adoptive mother, always wondered why her body was so intent on sabotaging her brain when her brain was capable of sabotaging itself." She drew in a weak breath "I think- I think my birth mother tried to do both, but she didn't succeed, so I'm doing it myself instead."

After another beat of silence, Jolene spoke up "Your mother was crazy. You're not."

"How do you-"

"Because I've known you for a long time, cracker. You're something, that's for sure, but you're not insane." Wiping a tear from Beth's eyes, she added "you just have to get out of the hole you dug up for yourself."

"I don't know how to do that." Beth responded.

"Try starting with sleep." Jolene responded. Even in the dark, Beth could see the mirth in her eyes as she added, "It's two a.m. We can deal with your bullshit in the morning." Beth huffed and gently pushed her away, a smile tugging at her lips.

Beth felt asleep with a smile. She didn't know how to get out of this mess, but at least she didn't have to do it alone.


End file.
